What I Didn't Do

I'm sorry

For what I didn't do

For things I couldn't help

I'm sorry

That you're caught up in this

That you were left behind

I'm sorry

For getting so involved

For getting so blindsided

I'm sorry

That you just had to stand there

That you couldn't stop it

I'm sorry

For putting myself here

For not stopping what I could

I'm sorry

That I broke your heart

That I let you fall unchecked

I'm sorry

For not stepping in

For not holding you back

I'm sorry

That it was me instead

That I can't change the impossible

I'm sorry

For not thinking ahead

For what is clear now

I'm sorry

That I didn't do anything

That I had no control

I'm sorry

For what I didn't do

For things I couldn't help

I'm sorry

That I can't fix it

I'm sorry

That I'm sorry

Stars Among Us

As I wander this earth, weary and forlorn,

I stop in strange cities to view the sights.

I smell the air and inhale such wonders--

And this is when I realize

There are stars among us.

As their faces pass me by, I stop and stare.

I feel their confidence, their grace, their selflessness.

I talk to them and they smile and laugh,

And I feel like a friend

To the stars among us.

When they pass, they nod, always friendly.

They are like us in every way but one;

They are defnding me while I stand idly by,

And I feel so awed

By the stars among us.

When they take their own precious time to act

They leave their mark on this smoothed-over world.

They lend their hands to those in all walks of life,

And never tire,

These stars among us.

They are the firemen,

the policemen,

the soldiers,

the friends.

They are the stars among us.

To My Friends :)

So having your wisdom teeth taken out does things to you. Let me tell you, painkillers are WEIRD. They make me tired and wired and itchy and hot and restless all at the same time. Man, I could sleep forEVER. Or at least that's what I say. Last night was a bit rough, though.

Being awake at 3 in the morning makes you think. You probably know this. Gosh, I so badly wanted to write, but I was shaking and in pain and I just couldn't get myself out of my warm bed. So here's what I remember from my restlessness last night:

1. I miss my friends. :)

2. I never want to have oral surgery EVER again.

3. My cheeks are more puffy than a chipmunks. No, sorry, no pictures.

4. I miss writing, and even when I feel this bad, I want to all the time.

5. Being tired all the time provides ample opportunity for awesome, book-inspiring dreams.

6. As much as I hate stress, I really do love school.

7. I am a procrastinator, and I forgot to bring a couple assignments home with me.

8. Netflix is the best thing ever if you feel like this.

That's about all I can remember. But yeah...

I am inspired by you guys. Thanks for keeping me in your prayers this week. I love you!

Also, Zephaniah 3:17.

I Miss You, Friend

Seeing life from your eyes

Everything is different

The blue of the sky

Looks a little more blue

The sun up above

Is brighter and warmer

The world spins slowly

But still time passes quickly

I was having a hard day

A challenging year

But your perspective

Changed my life

Now I feel that I can see

Everything, good and bad

Though the outlook is bleak

There is still hope in you

How can you see through the pain

And make this world

So much better for people

Like me, lost and lonely

How can you work so hard

When you know you

Will never profit from it

And only I will see tomorrow

I don't want you to leave here

I don't ever want you gone

Stay right beside me

Bring me this constant clarity

This hope in the darkness

This calling for higher purpose

Give me the strength to carry on

Even though you are gone!

Thank you, Brandon, for what you did for the people that knew you. Thank you for making the world a better place even though you weren't meant to be here to see the good triumph. Thank you for encouraging me, through your death, to live for something more than just 'getting things done.' I feel like I haven't done enough, and you showed me that the little things count. Thank you for being who you were in life. Thank you, God, for bringing my brother in you home, as painful as it is for those of us that must stay behind. I miss you, Brandon, and I will always remember you!