Missed.

I miss...

Us. Together.

But I don't. I really don't.

How can I miss us without missing you?

I feel like...

Like I should miss you.

I miss being with you.

But not

You.

I miss feeling your hand in mine.

I miss the feeling I got

When you pressed your lips to mine.

Is that wrong?

I miss the presence but not the person.

We all know

Us

Was a mistake.

That much was evident.

But I gained from that mistake.

I gained knowledge.

I gained friends.

I gained emptiness

That comes from having someone

And losing them.

Our Us was like a child's phase.

It didn't last long...

And it was a good thing.

I miss your lips on mine.

How I long to be kissed again!

How I miss the feeling in the pit of my stomach

Of being connected to someone like that.

Looking into your eyes...

That's what broke Us.

That's what made our entire togetherness

Become something to be changed.

It's what tore me away from you.

Eyes, windows to the soul.

Yours and mine weren't compatible.

There was no Us after that.

I miss Us.

But I don't miss you.

I am a terrible person for that.

Forgive me.

I don't know how I've gotten on this long

Without the forgiveness of that.

That's what this is about...

Not missing Us.

It's about not missing you

And the forgiveness I crave.

Imagine

Are you ready

To fly?

Like the boy

Who escaped time

Like the man

With the hook

Like the fairy

Chiming

Above their heads?

Are you ready

To sing?

Like the girl

Captured by

The beast

Under a spell

Like the pots and pans

Dancing

Through the castle?

Are you ready

To wish?

Like the boy

With the lamp

And the genie

laughing gaily

Like the magic carpet

Soaring

To whole new worlds?

Are you ready?

I'm On My Way

I'm on my way

I'm trying harder

I'll make it some day

I'll show them how

Cause you're on my mind

But I'm running out of time

I'm fighting the good fight

I'm pushing it farther

I've got you in my sights

I've given this my all

Cause you're on my mind

But I'm running out of time

I'm confident and sure

I'm holding my head high

I'm quiet and demure

I'm taking this time for you

Cause you're on my mind

But I'm running out of time

I'm running out of time

I'm taking far too long

I've got you on my mind

I've got to find a way

Cause you're on my mind

But I'm running out of time

Authority

They say

Follow

But we turn

And walk away

They say

Conform

But we change

And walk away

They say

Submit

But we rebel

And walk away

They say

Give

But we take

And walk away

They say

Quiet

But we shout

And walk away

They say

Sit

But we stand

And walk away

They say

Honor

But we laugh

And walk away

He says

Respect

But we spit

And walk away

He says

Love

But we scorn

And walk away

He says

Take

But we refuse

And walk away

He gives

Life

But we choose

To walk away

Outside

You are the only thing I never knew I wanted

And I'm thinking that it's just not right

But you can change my mind; I leave it open

My heart on my sleeve, my head in my hands

They're there for you, if you seek them

Just search a little harder, little deeper

You're aiming for something on the surface that isn't there

It's not open to you, not yet; try harder

That's what they always tell me; run faster

But I'm shooting for the stars, and honestly

I think you're settling for the moon

You can do better than this, better than me

Just look a little farther, pray a little more

I know you're on your knees tonight

You're looking from the outside, like I used to

But now we've switched sides and I'm inside

I can see you looking at me, and I know

But I can't bring myself to let you know

So tell me, will you speak your mind

I want to know if you're going to keep running,

Keep searching, keep going and going

I want to know if I can change anything here

So even though my head says yes yes yes

My heart says no, no, I can't do this

And I knew I didn't need this, so why do you think

That it's what is right here, what is right to you

Why do we have differing views

On the same important things

So Together

When I see

You two

Sitting there, so together

I can't help

But be

Jealous

How does it feel

When he holds you?

When he

Wraps his arms

Around you

And kisses you like that?

How does it feel

When he touches you?

When he

Strokes your cheek

And kisses

Your neck so softly?

When I see

The way

You laugh, so together

I can't help

But be

Sad

How does it feel

When he tells that joke?

When he

Makes your sides split

With that

Wonderful smile?

How does it feel

When he gazes at you?

When he

Stares right at you

And makes

You laugh so hard?

When I see

That light

Between you, so together

I can't help

But be

Lonely

Passion

The more I learn, the less I know

I think I'm soaring, but I'm sitting low

I shoot for the stars, but land on the moon

I wanted to go far, but I landed too soon

The more I learn, the less I know

I'm running upstream, against the flow

I'm cursing the wind, I'm fighting my fate

I'm falling too hard, I'm not going to wait

The more I learn, the less I know

I'm pushing too hard, but I'm going too slow

I'm trying to hard, but I always fail

I'm tasting life, but it always seems stale

The more I learn, the less I know

I understand nothing, and answers forgo

I search for answers, I dance with fire

I turn the world upside down, and I never tire

What a Day...

I trip

HELLO!

The ground is a bit hard this morning.

As per usual.

I climb to my feet

Now I'm sore.

This is going to be a good day.

Off to a great start.

I take another step

Stubbed toe.

That's fun. For some.

Keep moving.

The person in front of me stops

I crash

"Beware of careless...walking."

Books everywhere.

I rush to get everything together

WIND!

Oh no...this is going to take forever.

Goodbye, homework...

I bend to pick up my assignments

CONK.

Ow. Head. Hurting.

Hey, random guy.

He helps gather my books

"Hey."

I'm blushing. That's weird.

"Ehh...huh....hi."

I'm such a dork

I can't talk.

I look so dumb and klutzy.

A smile.

I'm beet red now

"Coffee, later?"

Ohmygosh. Did he just--?

Yes. Please.

Is this my white knight

Right here?

I halfway expect a horse.

Not so much.

I smile back, happier

"Sure thing!"

There, I can talk again!

Skip away.

I'm whispering his name

Happily.

I didn't realize before...

Now I know, eh?

Skeleton Trees

Branches

Scratching the sky

Like claws

Searching for a grip

The wind tosses them

And they laugh at the futility

Roots firm, unmoving

Solid

Dark, dark against the sky

In profile with the sunset

They are the guardians

Of the sky and ground alike

Never moving

Unshakable fathers

Of the world

Of the air

They stand

Witness

To you and me

No life

To the naked eye

But look

Closer

They reach their jagged fingers

To the sky

And it responds

Sending rain

And with rain

Life

Aching

The days are long

Nights, cruel

Thoughts are harsh

Memories, worse

Faces blend together

Names, disappearing

Pictures mean nothing

Words, even less

The horror piles up

Stories, overwhelming

Blood soaks through

Sweat, pouring

Harder you push

Faster, farther

Slower you go

Weakened, now

Time crawls on

Knees, aching

Muscles crying

Loud, painful

But still waiting

Forever, never

Holding back

Tears, agony

Pulling yourself

Open, exposed

Flesh tearing

Raw, unnerved

Waiting for the end

Somehow, grasping

A ledge of hope

Hanging, gasping

Is this enough now

Here, holding

The future uncertain

Shaky, rocky

Reach out

Above, light

Hands stretched

Heavenward, praying

Life From the Passenger Side

Staring out the windows,

I watch the world pass.

This road is my life, and

I'm not driving myself.

I watch the fields and

The forests fall away;

Rolling hills lifting,

Valleys hindering me.

Every new scene is

Bright and beautiful,

But there's something

In every shadow.

I'm scared to death

That I'll never see

What's hiding there,

But I can't bear to know.

As the days zip past

My rear view mirror,

I think I can see Him--

The driver of my car.

He is watching me

As He watches the road;

Fully alert and in love

With what He sees.

He sees my fear and

He comforts me, and

I fall asleep safe here

In His warm caress.

He eyes the shadows

And they retreat,

Scared to death of

Death Himself here.

He reaches His hand

And I grasp it, now

Completely sure that

My road is straight.

Though narrow,

The way is right.

The light shines

And I am alive.

Life's Paints

Using her words as paints

And her tongue as a brush,

She begins the process of

Covering a canvas in color.

With every new sentence,

More shape is given and

The painting comes on slowly.

Her living, breathing passion

Forms the brightest of suns--

Yellows, oranges, reds together.

Her fears, tears, and her pain

Give shadows to the world--

Blues, grays, blacks, purples.

She speaks longingly of loves

And adds shades of hope there--

Pinks, blues, greens; vibrancy.

As she tells of her hopes and

Her fears for the coming future,

A scene appears on the canvas

Of a long, winding path.

It's simple and brownish but

It catches the eye and ear.

This path is most important

To the girl with the brush.

She dips into her soul to

Find the wondrous paints,

And shows to the world

Her life, love, imagination.

Her canvas is covered now

And her brush is set aside;

Her story is painted,

Her painting is told.

One Fire

Raging winds bite the earth

Digging in fangs that thirst for something more

Pushing trees to one side

Laughing at the misery of leaves in constant torment

One thing too many rubs against the dry ground

A tiny jubilant spark springs forth

It dances merrily against the wind

It spreads; it divides and conquers

It overtakes the wind and the two become one

Flying together around the dry world

Wreaking havoc, killing all

The desolation of one fire is terrible

The pain it can cause if you get too close

It burns and it eats away

Anything in its path is a dance floor

It stomps and romps and whistles as it goes

Never caring what the next obstacle is

This is the power of only one fire

What I Didn't Do

I'm sorry

For what I didn't do

For things I couldn't help

I'm sorry

That you're caught up in this

That you were left behind

I'm sorry

For getting so involved

For getting so blindsided

I'm sorry

That you just had to stand there

That you couldn't stop it

I'm sorry

For putting myself here

For not stopping what I could

I'm sorry

That I broke your heart

That I let you fall unchecked

I'm sorry

For not stepping in

For not holding you back

I'm sorry

That it was me instead

That I can't change the impossible

I'm sorry

For not thinking ahead

For what is clear now

I'm sorry

That I didn't do anything

That I had no control

I'm sorry

For what I didn't do

For things I couldn't help

I'm sorry

That I can't fix it

I'm sorry

That I'm sorry

Stars Among Us

As I wander this earth, weary and forlorn,

I stop in strange cities to view the sights.

I smell the air and inhale such wonders--

And this is when I realize

There are stars among us.

As their faces pass me by, I stop and stare.

I feel their confidence, their grace, their selflessness.

I talk to them and they smile and laugh,

And I feel like a friend

To the stars among us.

When they pass, they nod, always friendly.

They are like us in every way but one;

They are defnding me while I stand idly by,

And I feel so awed

By the stars among us.

When they take their own precious time to act

They leave their mark on this smoothed-over world.

They lend their hands to those in all walks of life,

And never tire,

These stars among us.

They are the firemen,

the policemen,

the soldiers,

the friends.

They are the stars among us.

To The Moon

Bright

Shining above me

Luminescent ball of hope

Spreading light on good and evil alike

Lighting the paths in

The darkest hours

Friend

Of shadows and men

Giving the world a soft gleam

Smiling down on the sleeping souls here

Shading a few but

Enlightening others

O Moon!

You light these pages

As my pen darkens them

You light my path as my feet cover it

You see us all at our

Weakest hour

Shine

Through my broken window

Through my shattered pain

Through my life's deceiving mask

Through my troubled sleep

Through my night

Light

My coming dreams

This twisted path of thought

The days drag on but nights are short

When you shine down the darkness's

Menacing face fades

Left

It hurts less every day

But that scar still remains

That hole in my heart

Won't ever fade away

I opened up to you

And I thought I was safe

You were just along for the ride

I made myself into your fool

The grass was so green

And the blue sky so clear

When we started this drive

But it was all just a dream

Now that piece of myself

I presented with love

It's been opened and left

It sits alone on that shelf

I used to cry at night

Trying to use my tears

To feel whole again but

Now I think I never might

But my tears have faded

Just like that horrible scar

The hole will never fill

I'm left feeling hated

I fell for you so hard

And for a while I thought

You loved me, too

But my perceptions are marred

You let me fall far

And it tore me apart

You left a deep gash

And you never felt sorry

But I'm slowly healing

Picking up the pieces

Starting all over again

And numbing the feelings

I Know I Know

The sun is hidden behind a haze

And I can't see to get to you

No I can't seem to get through

This horrible hindering worldly maze

I know

I know

You're here

So near

Hold out your hand to me

And I will search through the pressing dark

Even though I'm sure to miss my mark

Because I cannot ever see

I know

I know

You're here

So near

Dear, I'm waiting at the door

I can feel the shadows so close

Inches away--a foot at the most

Their feet pound on the dirty floor

I know

I know

You're here

So near

But your grasp feels weak

And you act so distant

You seem so resistant

My sightless hands are seeking

I know

I know

You're here

So near

So save me

Pull me into your gaze

Out of this awful, dark haze

Open my heart--only you have the key

But Inside

I act so strong but
Inside I'm so weak
I fight the world away
But secretly long for it
I am independent but
Not without you near
I carry a strong sword
But to me it's so heavy
I shoulder my load but
I'm bending under the weight
I brave the darkest nights
But I shy away from shadows
I stare into your eyes but
Somehow I'm still sightless
I push you so far away
But I want you to hold me
I am ready for the battle but
My armor is full of holes
I pull back my bow of bitterness
But fall so short of the mark
I aim for your heart but
Instead I pass right by
I open my own doors
But they all close behind me
I act so strong but
Inside I'm weak and alone
I fight the world away
But secretly I long for you

With You

I drum my nails

On the hard rails

Contemplating

Not complaining

Of the present

I'm so content

To stay here

With you near

I smile

For a whille

And you

Grin too

Your eyes

Produce sighs

When you're looking

At me I sing

Even with

This myth

I'm hard to get

It's you I met

And I fell

Don't tell

It's you I love

My mourning dove

Standing in the rain

You take away the pain

You make me laugh

A perfect smile graph

Even in a storm

You keep me warm

So I'm not complaining

Just contemplating

Thinking of

Our love

And I try

Not to cry

When you're away

And clouds are gray

I think of you

And they turn blue