Rage

Fists pumping

Heart racing

I'm so tired of feeling this way

But this feeling won't leave me alone

Running hard

Breathing heavily

Pushing through the oddest pain

To get the most from this terrible state

Eyes watering

Teeth grinding

Wanting it to end soon

But knowing I'll miss the adrenaline

Feet pounding

Mind whirring

Trying to control my temper

But not succeeding, not even close

Slowing down

Letting go

Now I'm out of breath

And I can't see straight

Gasping often

Bent double

The ground rises to meet me

And I let the grass envelop me

Just A Ghost

I'm just a ghost

Going through life

Like I don't even care

Walking through lives

Like I'm walking

Through a dream

Are those faces?

I can barely see

I don't realize

When you stand

In front of me

My eyes are

Somewhere else

My mind is left behind

Nothing's making sense

I see but don't

I hear but don't listen

I can't tell truth

From the lie anymore

I'm living on the edge

Not realizing it

Never knowing

I'm one step from

The perilous edge

Keep me from falling

Is what I wish

On shooting stars

The sky's vividness

Is fading to grey

The greenest greens

Seem horribly pale

The warmest breeze

Sends me to chills

I lay awake at night

Without knowing why

I can't tell

If it's all in my head

Or is it all real?

I'm just a ghost

Going through life

Like I don't even care

Walking through lives

Like I'm walking

Through a dream

Just Letters

Dear X,

I have decided that you are my inspiration. My hero. You are the person that, right now, I most want to be like. Your life was so full, so wonderful! So complete, and you were so young. Almost as young as I am now. And yet, you did so much. I look up to you, now in more than one way.

But I have a secret to tell you. I am not like you, not at all. At least, I don't think I am. I am quiet around people I don't know well. I am shy at times. Other times, I talk too much. You were so great around everyone. Everyone that knew you loved you so much. You were a light to all those lost in the dark, shining so brightly, pointing them in the right direction, just as a lighthouse guides ships safely to shore. I want to be like you. Help me? Send me advice and wisdom from where you are!

I know that you can't really do anything to help me in the physical sense, but you are driving me to more than what I was before. This past week, I have accomplished so much. Yet there is still so much lacking! I have so many things I want to do with my life, but I either don't know how to begin, don't want to, or simply can't without something more.

So. You are my personal 'trainer.' Or, you are in a way. You are my conscience, in a way, my accountability coach with the things I want to accomplish. You are the one that I will tell things to. Not just little things that I want everyone else to know, too, but important things, things that matter to me. And I know just where to start.

This is going to be an amazing journey for me, and I will always remember you through this.

Love,

M

I Miss You, Friend

Seeing life from your eyes

Everything is different

The blue of the sky

Looks a little more blue

The sun up above

Is brighter and warmer

The world spins slowly

But still time passes quickly

I was having a hard day

A challenging year

But your perspective

Changed my life

Now I feel that I can see

Everything, good and bad

Though the outlook is bleak

There is still hope in you

How can you see through the pain

And make this world

So much better for people

Like me, lost and lonely

How can you work so hard

When you know you

Will never profit from it

And only I will see tomorrow

I don't want you to leave here

I don't ever want you gone

Stay right beside me

Bring me this constant clarity

This hope in the darkness

This calling for higher purpose

Give me the strength to carry on

Even though you are gone!

Thank you, Brandon, for what you did for the people that knew you. Thank you for making the world a better place even though you weren't meant to be here to see the good triumph. Thank you for encouraging me, through your death, to live for something more than just 'getting things done.' I feel like I haven't done enough, and you showed me that the little things count. Thank you for being who you were in life. Thank you, God, for bringing my brother in you home, as painful as it is for those of us that must stay behind. I miss you, Brandon, and I will always remember you!

Work It

After I work out

I just want to shout

I'm limping all day

But I like it that way

It feels so good

Just the way is should

Adrenaline rush

Laziness crushed

I'm running on empty

But man I've got plenty

I'm ready for more

I like feeling sore

My heart pounding hard

When I'm beaten and scarred

My face drips with sweat

But man you can bet

It's the best that I've felt

Though not the best I've ever smelled...

Love Is

Love is a fickle, ever moving thing

Hard to find and harder still to hold

The song that everyone wishes to sing

It's the sun that melts the icy cold

The sight of smiling eyes

The heart's wish to be strong and bold

Laughter that stills the desperate cries

Of a friend in sadness and pain

Desperate after so many failed tries

Love is standing in pouring rain

Or even in freezing snow

Being there even if it seems insane

Love is hard to hold in your hand

Even when you're holding mine

Love is a shiny wedding band

Love is a thing far too fine

For poets, bards, muses, gods, faeries,

And even simple folk to define

Somebody To Love

Sometimes you just get a little desperate...

Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache in my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

(He works hard)

Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down


They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
I got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah

Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
I ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!

10x Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

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