Shadows Past

Jaz was trained in secrecy. She knew every way to hide, every shadow to slip into. She knew how to blend in with a crowd, and she knew how to stick out.

Jaz knew what it was to be completely alone in a crowd of people.

With her shades on, Jaz looked like an average New York citizen. She knew the back-ways, the alleys, the clubs that were perfect if she needed to get out of sight. She could walk a million miles in the highest stilettos and not feel a thing. She could walked with heels and not make a sound. In short, Jaz was a pavement artist of epic proportions.

With her sunglasses on.

With her sunglasses off, however, Jaz was a different person. Her eyes scared most; those who didn't run from her gaze were either dead or used to her. When Jaz pushed her shades up on top of her head and pinned back her hair, her cold eyes pierced rooms and hearts alike.

Jaz's eyes were silver.

Not pure silver, of course. They were slightly shadowed, darker towards her irises, and sprinkled with gold flakes. The most striking thing about her eyes, however, was their age. Her eyes had seen things that no human should ever see. She had watched with cool indifference as her own firing had killed men; she had watched blood seep into the pavement. She had watched businessmen scream as they fell from stories-tall building; she had pushed them.

Jaz's dark past was cast in silver in her eyes. Only two emotions were left to her; greed and loneliness.

Life's Paints

Using her words as paints

And her tongue as a brush,

She begins the process of

Covering a canvas in color.

With every new sentence,

More shape is given and

The painting comes on slowly.

Her living, breathing passion

Forms the brightest of suns--

Yellows, oranges, reds together.

Her fears, tears, and her pain

Give shadows to the world--

Blues, grays, blacks, purples.

She speaks longingly of loves

And adds shades of hope there--

Pinks, blues, greens; vibrancy.

As she tells of her hopes and

Her fears for the coming future,

A scene appears on the canvas

Of a long, winding path.

It's simple and brownish but

It catches the eye and ear.

This path is most important

To the girl with the brush.

She dips into her soul to

Find the wondrous paints,

And shows to the world

Her life, love, imagination.

Her canvas is covered now

And her brush is set aside;

Her story is painted,

Her painting is told.

One Fire

Raging winds bite the earth

Digging in fangs that thirst for something more

Pushing trees to one side

Laughing at the misery of leaves in constant torment

One thing too many rubs against the dry ground

A tiny jubilant spark springs forth

It dances merrily against the wind

It spreads; it divides and conquers

It overtakes the wind and the two become one

Flying together around the dry world

Wreaking havoc, killing all

The desolation of one fire is terrible

The pain it can cause if you get too close

It burns and it eats away

Anything in its path is a dance floor

It stomps and romps and whistles as it goes

Never caring what the next obstacle is

This is the power of only one fire

What I Didn't Do

I'm sorry

For what I didn't do

For things I couldn't help

I'm sorry

That you're caught up in this

That you were left behind

I'm sorry

For getting so involved

For getting so blindsided

I'm sorry

That you just had to stand there

That you couldn't stop it

I'm sorry

For putting myself here

For not stopping what I could

I'm sorry

That I broke your heart

That I let you fall unchecked

I'm sorry

For not stepping in

For not holding you back

I'm sorry

That it was me instead

That I can't change the impossible

I'm sorry

For not thinking ahead

For what is clear now

I'm sorry

That I didn't do anything

That I had no control

I'm sorry

For what I didn't do

For things I couldn't help

I'm sorry

That I can't fix it

I'm sorry

That I'm sorry

Stars Among Us

As I wander this earth, weary and forlorn,

I stop in strange cities to view the sights.

I smell the air and inhale such wonders--

And this is when I realize

There are stars among us.

As their faces pass me by, I stop and stare.

I feel their confidence, their grace, their selflessness.

I talk to them and they smile and laugh,

And I feel like a friend

To the stars among us.

When they pass, they nod, always friendly.

They are like us in every way but one;

They are defnding me while I stand idly by,

And I feel so awed

By the stars among us.

When they take their own precious time to act

They leave their mark on this smoothed-over world.

They lend their hands to those in all walks of life,

And never tire,

These stars among us.

They are the firemen,

the policemen,

the soldiers,

the friends.

They are the stars among us.

To The Moon

Bright

Shining above me

Luminescent ball of hope

Spreading light on good and evil alike

Lighting the paths in

The darkest hours

Friend

Of shadows and men

Giving the world a soft gleam

Smiling down on the sleeping souls here

Shading a few but

Enlightening others

O Moon!

You light these pages

As my pen darkens them

You light my path as my feet cover it

You see us all at our

Weakest hour

Shine

Through my broken window

Through my shattered pain

Through my life's deceiving mask

Through my troubled sleep

Through my night

Light

My coming dreams

This twisted path of thought

The days drag on but nights are short

When you shine down the darkness's

Menacing face fades

Left

It hurts less every day

But that scar still remains

That hole in my heart

Won't ever fade away

I opened up to you

And I thought I was safe

You were just along for the ride

I made myself into your fool

The grass was so green

And the blue sky so clear

When we started this drive

But it was all just a dream

Now that piece of myself

I presented with love

It's been opened and left

It sits alone on that shelf

I used to cry at night

Trying to use my tears

To feel whole again but

Now I think I never might

But my tears have faded

Just like that horrible scar

The hole will never fill

I'm left feeling hated

I fell for you so hard

And for a while I thought

You loved me, too

But my perceptions are marred

You let me fall far

And it tore me apart

You left a deep gash

And you never felt sorry

But I'm slowly healing

Picking up the pieces

Starting all over again

And numbing the feelings